How To Stop Chasing Love In The Wrong Places And Find It In Yourself


For a long time I would seek love in unavailable places - try to prove myself and my worth to someone who was incapable or lacked the desire to give me the love that I now know that I deserve. This lesson has been painful at best and detrimental at worst.

Recently, I came face-to-face with a particular platonic relationship that gave me the opportunity to either continue chasing love where love had no home or direct my love inward and give myself what I was seeking in someone else’s approval. For the first time I saw both choices, but more importantly, I saw my answer clearly.

Up until this point I didn’t fully understand the lesson the Universe was trying to teach me. I had just thought that life dealt me a series of similar situations - that was just my luck. Until I was willing to view my role in relationships - my needs, insecurities, voids, and patterns - I continued seeking love in others where love lacked in myself.

The clarity that has come with ultimate honesty with myself and giving myself the love that I desired has provided me with powerful breakthroughs that have since shifted and re-shaped the look and feel of all of my relationships.

This is what I’ve learned:

+All of the love you need is inside of yourself. You do not need to chase love. You do not need to force love. You are enough.

+You do not need to be liked, loved, or seen for who you are, as long as you like, love, and see yourself.

+The best way to teach people how to treat you, is to treat yourself with love.

+When you feel a lack of love, focus on love. When you seek love, love is what you will find.

+Direct your love and energy to relationships that feel good.

This experience clearly didn’t happen over night and these lessons weren’t understood until I allowed myself to face the truth and learn my worth. It took decades of questions, confusion, and spirituality to understand why I kept re-creating bad-feeling relationships on loop. It took learning what feels good to recognize when I experience what does not.

Get curious about what relationships don’t feel good. Ask yourself what you are trying to get out of them. What do you think that person can give you? Give yourself what you seek. Love yourself how you want to be loved. Love yourself as you deserved to be love. Get clear on what you want your relationships to look like. Get clear on what you want your relationships to feel like. When you are clear on your worth - when you are clear on what you don’t want and you move towards what you do - you send an energetic message to everyone around you to vibe up or vibe out. And that feels good.